She's charmaine
born on 30thMay'90,
making her sweet16
Monday, November 13, 2006
honestly.. that fear of failing amath is still in me.. but now, i'm gonna FACE it. i've practiced hard.. asked questions.. ran around just figuring out how to do a simple qn which i didn't give a shit about just last month.. i know if i pass, it's gonna be a miracle.. seriously.. a miracle. i believe that God rewards those who put in the effort.. i realised my mistakes, and have put in double the time to practice.. i know he will reward base on effort & belief.. but the question is.. "is my realisation of my mistake a lil too late..?"
so the day was spent on amath - no physics & chem.
a bad move, yet a wise one [stupid contradictions!!]. i've done physics and chem over and over, with CARELESS mistakes and some messed up facts and misintepretation. as i looked through my amath fys.. i've seen myself get 50+ or even 60+ outta 80. but the question is.. why can't i do that during exams?usually, 50-60marks is the amount of marks i've LOST. why char, why are you just SOOOOO careless, nervous and freaked out? i do it casually, and i get the As and Bs i've desired for.. but when i panic.. damn.. i die. but i can't help worrying. yeah i know its so contradicting.. i wanna stop worrying, yet i still can't help but worry. booo! crazy char. tsk.
so i met up with him today. serious talk at first.. everything cleared.. and i saw the sunny sky once again. being able to sit beside him happily was something i have been looking forward to for the past few weeks. yeah i admit things were really shitty the past few weeks.. quarrels and even misunderstandings that got so huge, but they're actually so tiny [microscopic even]. i was reflecting, and looking back on my life.. and i remember people commenting on puppy love, and how teenage relationships wont ever last. i look back at how many parents tried to make me change my mind about being serious. i guess these people just don't really know me. since young, whenever i took up something, i'd accept whatever trails that come.. and i'll make sure i don't surrender. at the least, i'll admit my fault and move on. so i've decided to have this relationship, and i havent fallen that badly. i'd risk anything, even life, to just do everything to the best of my capabilities. i know i can do it, it's just whether i wanna.. so i decided to meet him and talk everything out. i could have pushed all the blame to him, i could have.. but.. i didn't. i didn't put this relationship as a one sided effort.. so now i'll just say..
WE will put in ALL the effort we can and we CAN make it (:
thanks to all my buddies who believed in me/us.. and giving us the strength and help the past 15months. without you guys.. things would be REALLY different.
so many things have changed..
i was once so.. indecisive of my feelings, and always letting things pass.. now i know i won't lah.. i'll just reap what i sow.. i'll move on.. with God, my loved ones.. and everyone else who believes in me.
maybe you should sit down and reflect on your life..
it does wonders.. hahaha.. i realised that only recently.
sometimes we should just pause - and watch the world pass by at such a fast rate.
when you do that.. you'll realise that there are so many goodness which you've missed out on.. hahaa.. i guess i'll stop here now.. will blog more after Os have ended okay? love you all!!
loves from char(:
at 11:19 PM