She's charmaine
born on 30thMay'90,
making her sweet16
Monday, February 26, 2007
"Tks for comin... Seeing me for one last time... I dunno when i can see you... No one can help me... And i can't even help myself... I'm... sorry"
Those words left tears in my eyes, with the fear that he'll do anything stupid.
"Well... Good bye... I love you... Dun reply"
Those were his very last words to me via sms.. and i remember telling him early on that i didn't wanna hear anymore sorry(s).. but "Good bye" & "I love you". I guess he ended it well, and i'm glad the last word i heard from him wasn't another "sorry". And i'm glad he promised me that he won't do anything near stupid.. although i'd still be worried about him.
I wonder when will be the next time i get to hear his voice, or even receive an sms from him. I'm trying to tell myself not to think about how long this wait will be. I've never encounted such a challenge in my life, so it's definitely going to be hard to cope with for awhile. Although i'm going to tell myself to stay strong and move along.. i know i'll hurt deep down inside.
It's not his fault, it's his mother's.. thus i did not want him to say any sorry(s). It was unexpected.. really shocking. It was hard to face reality at first, but then again.. it is reality, it has happened.
When there is a lack in communication in any relationship/friendship etc.. troubles will start. But can you count it as a relationship/friendship if there ain't any bit of communication? Lets do a little check.. Lets say if we haven't spoken till 6 months later on our 2nd year anniversary.. and we say we still "loved" each other all the way, yet not spoken to each other, can i count it as love?
See the difference?
The question is.. how long will his mother actually do this to us?
The question is not about whether i love him or he love me or we don't love each other anymore blah blah blah.. its not about trust and responsiblity and (add more qualities about "how to keep a good relationship going")
Another question is..
Can we keep holding on to something we believe in?
I haven't told anyone about this in details yet.. there's definitely more than what i've blogged here tonight. And if anyone thought (or inferred) this whole post was about me having a breakup, sorry to disappoint you, but that is entirely far off. I still love the guy i loved 18+ months ago.. and i know its the same for him.
I know we'll pull through although its tough.
Cause.. even when life starts crashing down, you still have to smile..
You still have to hope.
at 9:36 PM